LANA knew that she’s not supposed to be there. She’s not supposed to be thinking about him. Pero tao lang siya at ang isang tulad ni James at ang mga alaala nito ay sadyang mahirap kalimutan.

She hates riding the LRT because of two main reasons:

One, she hated the crowd, always hated it. ‘Yung tipong kailangan niyang makipagsiksikan sa mga iba’t-ibang klase ng tao na may iba’t-ibang klase ng amoy. ‘Yung tipong kailangan niyang magtiis tumayo nang matagal na halos makipagpalitan na ng mukha, at makipag-amuyan ng mga hindi dapat maamoy. Ayaw niya ng may nakakatabing humihilig sa kanya kapag natutulog, at kapag inabot pa ng malas ay may kasamang pagtulo pa ng laway sa kanyang balikat. Eww.

Two, she’s not good at directions. As in she wouldn’t know the difference between the North and the South, because she doesn’t really care about it. Kailangan niyang ituon nang husto ang atensiyon sa bawat paghinto ng tren dahil kapag hindi niya narinig kung nasaang istasyon na siya, siguradong ligaw ang aabutin niya.

Kaya mas gusto niyang mag-taxi, mag-jeep o kaya ay mag-bus, kahit gaano pa kasumpa-sumpa ang traffic sa kalsada.

So, bakit nga ba siya nakasakay LRT ngayon? And kanyang destinasyon – Edsa Station. Iyon ang unang pagkakataon niyang makasakay ng LRT tatlong taon na ang nakakaraan…

~~

“TRUST me, this is going to be fun,” nakangising sabi ni James sa kanya.

Inismiran niya iyon habang kinakabahang nag-aabang ng pagdating ng tren. “Yeah right. This is also your first time riding the train, isn’t it?”

“Yes. That’s why it’s gonna be so much fun. We’re both first timers!”

Ah, James. Lana’s ever-so-enthusiastic former Korean student. One month ago, ni hindi niya maisip na makakasakay siya sa LRT para lamang pumunta sa Edsa at ngayon, nakatayo siya sa loob niyon, nakakapit sa malamig na estribong gawa sa bakal. Good thing James was right beside her, protecting her from all those strangers.

James was your typical boy-next-door. Guwapo, charming, funny. Best friend material – check. Boyfriend material – check na check! He’s one huge check, as far as Lana’s concerned. Lahat ng makita rito, natatahimik, natutulala. Para kasi nag-teleport ang sinumang makakita rito doon sa Korea at nakaharap ang isa sa mga sikat na Korean drama stars doon. His shoulder-length hair was light brown, na halatang alagang-alaga sa conditioner. At ang kutis nito, sobrang puti at kinis to the point na nakaka-insecure na.

James is a beautiful young man, if there’s such a thing as a beautiful man. And she’s just one lucky gal to be his English teacher, companion, shock absorber and yes, sometimes, a ‘flirt object’, lalo na sa tuwing wala itong ibang mapagdiskitahan.

Now, he’s standing next to her, his arms innocently around her, protecting her. Nakangiti itong nakatuon ang atensiyon sa tanawin sa labas ng tren. Hindi niya maiwasang mangarap na sana, siya na lamang ang tinitingnan nito, at sa kanya lamang ang atensiyon nito.

“How come you never liked the train?” narinig niyang tanong nito.

“I’ve already told you. I hate the crowd…and I easily get lost.”

“O well, I’m here now. With me, you’ll never get lost again.”

Ah, that’s James. He’s probably got his PhD in Flirting at Harvard.

Lana didn’t know what’s with the LRT Edsa station at bakit gustung-gusto ni James na tumatambay sa istasyon na ‘yon, halos linggo-linggo. Naisip nga niya na baka may natipuhan itong babae at sinusundan-sundan nito iyon. Mabuti na lamang at hindi rush hour sa tuwing pumupunta sila roon, kung hindi ay talagang aawayin niya ito.

“It’s getting late, James, aren’t we going home yet?” From Edsa Station, they have to travel back to Santolan Station, and back to Edsa, again. Sa Marikina pa kasi siya nakatira at hindi pumapayag si James na hindi siya ihatid bago ito umuwi sa condo unit nito sa Pasay.

Ngumiti lang si James sa kanya at naupo sa bakanteng upuan na naroon. Pinagpagan nito ang natitirang espasyo doon at pinaupo siya. Para naman siyang mabait na aso na sumunod.

“Do you know why I love this place?”

“No,” simple niyang tugon. Parang ritwal na nga nila ang pumunta roon at maupo sa pareho nilang inuupuan sa istasyon ng tren na iyon dahil sa sobrang daming beses na nila iyong ginagawa, sa loob ng tatlong taon ng pagiging magkaibigan nila. Pero hanggang ngayon ay misteryo pa rin sa kanya ang dahilan ni James.

“Because this is the place where we first met, remember?”

“Err…no,” ulit niya. “We met at the Language Institute, remember? Three years ago, when you became my student.”

“No, we met here.”

“James, I told you I’m not into trains. I hate train rides so how-“

Inilagay ni James ang hintuturo nito sa ibabaw ng kanyang mga labi para patahimikin siya. At talagang natahimik nga siya dahil sa pagkabigla.

“Four years ago, here at the station. A year even before I became your student. At this same spot…you were sitting here with someone…and then when he finally left, you stood up and headed for the stairs. I ran after you because you dropped your wallet.”

Napanganga si Lana, literal na napanganga. “T-that was you?”

Sumimangot ito, na para bang aping-api. “Ouch, I’m hurt. You don’t remember?”

“I’m sorry, James…that was a very long time ago and I was…”

“Too preoccupied with your boyfriend…I know.”

Pumikit si Lana at pilit inalala ang nangyaring iyon. That was the time when Kit, her [ex] boyfriend of two years broke up with her.

“Since then, I never stopped thinking about you, Lana. I went here, everyday, hoping that I’d see you again but I didn’t.”

“I never came back here because I hated the train,” natatawa niyang sabi.

“And I never thought I’d be able to see you again until I entered the Language Institute.” Habang nagsasalita ay nakatingin lamang si James sa mga tao’ng paroot-parito. Hindi niya alam kung nahihiya itong humarap sa kanya o ano. “ Miss Beth was supposed to be my teacher, but I personally requested for you instead. Because I told myself, there must be a reason why our paths met for the second time. My gut feel was saying that you are the one…so I didn’t let that chance slip away.”

“J-James…” It was all too much for her, that she’s finding it hard to breathe.

“I’m telling you all these because…I’m leaving for Korea tomorrow, Lana.”

Ang biglang sayang naramdaman niya ay agad ring naglaho. Sinasabi na nga ba niya, everything’s just too good to be true.

“My dad’s in the hospital and we don’t know how much time he has left.”

“I’m sorry.” James’ father was around 80 years old, and he’s been talking about his dad’s failing health these past few weeks.

Umiling-iling ito. Matagal na naman raw nitong inihanda ang sarili sa posibilidad na pagpanaw ng ama pero siyempre, mahirap pa rin ang ganoong sitwasyon sa kahit na sino. Ginagap nito ang isa niyang kamay at ngumiti. “I wanted to tell you everything…about how I really felt about you, now, before I go.”

Ayaw niyang umiyak pero hindi niya napigilan ang mga luha. “A-are you coming back?” If ever, this is going to be her second heartbreak. And she’s never really good at dealing with it. The last time it happened four years ago, she almost committed suicide. And then now…

“Of course I will. I have to. Because…m-mahal…kita…Lana.”

Doon lalong nag-unahang tumulo ang mga luha niya sa kanyang pisngi. Sa buong tatlong taon ng pagkakakilala nila, hindi niya narinig si James na magsalita ng kahit na anong salitang Tagalog, kahit pa turuan niya ito. Pero ngayon, sinasabi nitong mahal siya nito sa wikang Tagalog.

“M-mahal…na…mahal kita, Lana,” nakangiti nitong ulit. “Am I saying it right?”

Tumango siya, magkahalong tuwa at lungkot ang nadarama..

“Hey, tell me those are tears of joy because I’ve been learning that phrase for weeks now.”

Muli, tumango lang siya dahil wala pa rin siyang kakayanang magsalita.

“I love you…mahal kita…saranghae.”

“J-James…” Kailangan ba niyang sagutin iyon? Huminga siya ng malalim. Ano nga ba ang nararamdaman niya para kay James? Oo, gusto niya ito – mali – gustong-gusto niya ito. Hindi – sigurado siyang mahal na niya ito – at dapat na rin niyang sabihin ang totoo niyang nararamdaman bago pa mahuli ang lahat…bago pa siya magising mula sa napakagandang panaginip na iyon?

“You don’t have to answer right now, Lana. I’m not pressuring you. I just wanted you to know that…mahal…kita.”

She smiled. “N-nado saranghae.” Nakita niyang kumunot ang noo ni James at naisip niya na baka mali ang pagkakasabi niya ng mga katagang iyon. “Did I say it right?”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “But…do you know what you have just said?”

“Yes…nado saranghae means…I love you, too.”

Saglit na nanlaki ang mga maliliit na mga mata ni James, na nagpangiti sa kanya. Inaasahan ni Lana ang yayakapin at hahalikan siya ni James pagkatapos pero hindi. Nanatili lamang itong nakatitig sa kanya habang hawak ang isa niyang kamay. Oh yeah, James is a polite kind of guy.

Nagsimula nang umingay ang paligid dahil nagsimula na ang rush hour. Sabay silang tumayo mula sa kinauupuan at magkahawak-kamay na tumungo sa lugar na hindi masyadong matao. For Lana, everything felt so right that moment – holding Jame’s hand, looking into his eyes, smiling at him. This was something that she’s been dreaming about for years. Meeting Mr. Right and finally having her happy ending.

“I’ll call you, everyday if possible…we’ll e-mail, Skype, everything, okay?”

Tumangu-tango si Lana habang nakatingin lang sa mukha ni James. Gusto niyang kabisaduhin ang mukha nito – ang buhok, maliliit na mga mata, matangos na ilong, manipis na labi, lahat dahil hindi niya alam kung kailan niya ito muling makikita.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He gently wiped the tears off her cheeks. “I will see you again and by then, you don’t have to cry anymore, arraso? I promise, I will always make you happy. So, hey, will you smile for me now, for one last time?”

She nodded and smiled.

“Please wait for me, my love.”

And so she did.

But James didn’t come back.

~~

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