THE disgusting sound of my alarm clock woke me up. It was ringing for almost ten minutes and I wasn’t really planning to get up. Gusto ko pa sanang matulog but when I thought of finding Travis to get the letter he stole from my diary, agad akong napatayo at dali-daling nagpunta sa banyo para maligo.
After having breakfast nagmadali na akong pumunta sa school para hanapin ang magnanakaw na ‘yon. Mabuti na lang at hinatid ako ng Pastor namin kaya I got to school so early for the third subject. Well, I was supposed to have a class at seven in the morning pero mahirap talaga gumising ng maaga.
“Hey, Lyndon!”
Cassy’s call caught my attention as I was walking down the school hallway. I can easily guess her voice because of its natural raspiness. Siya ‘yong tipo ng babae na parang boses lalake.
“Goodness gracious! I have been looking for you the whole time, like literally. I never thought you’re good at hiding,” she added.
Humihingal siya na parang buong araw na nagtatatakbo. From the look of her face, I can say that there is something she wanted to tell me. Now I am getting scared.
“Kakarating ko lang kaya. Why? What’s wrong?” I asked right away, pretending I was calm and not scared for whatever she’s going to tell.
“Hindi mo ba talaga alam? Diyos ko naman Lyndon, kalat na kalat na sa buong campus ang tungkol sa ‘yo.”
The chills were running all over my body, consuming me drastically and I was like getting drowned deeper and deeper in a dark room of uncertainty as she’s staring at me. Parang nangangamba ako sa sasabihin niya. Is it about my identity? Kinuha ba talaga ni Travis ang letter at pinagkakalat niya na bakla ako?
“A-anong dapat kong m-malaman?”
I tried not to stutter but I failed. Gusto kong i-explain ang side ko – about my real identity – pero pinangungunahan ako ng kaba.
Damn it! I should’ve kept my diary in a safe place.
“Hindi pa rin talaga ako makapaniwala. I can’t really picture how –”
“Just say it straight to the point Cassy.”
I can’t help it. Gusto ko ng malaman kung ano nga ba ang nangyayari. It’s late when I realized that I was already shouting at her. Napahinto ako nang makita ko siyang nakatitig sa akin at kitang-kita sa kanyang mukha na nagulat siya.
“Well, um, I just want to say that you and Travis will be the representatives for Mr. University. Kayo ang napili ng department natin,” her voice was calm.
I exhaled heavily, releasing the doubts and fear that consumed me lately. Para akong nakaalis sa isang madilim na sulok nang malaman kong hindi pala tungkol sa identity ko ang sasabihin niya.
“I can’t really picture out kung ano ang magiging hitsura ninyong dalawa. I mean, you guys are already so good-looking, how much more kung aayusan kayo, di ba?” she added.
“Umm, ba-bakit nasali ako?” I faked a smile, trying to look relaxed.
“Siguro nakitaan ka ng potential ng dean natin. Teka, bakit parang nanginginig at gulat na gulat ka? May gusto ka bang sabihin sa akin Lyndon?” she asked. Tinignan niya ako ng maigi at parang may gusto siyang marinig mula sa akin.
“Umm, hindi lang ako makapaniwala na napili ako ng dean natin,” I lied.
“Well, you’re not really that good in hiding feelings Lyndon. I know may tinatago ka pero hindi na kita pipilitin,” she sighed as she’s fixing her hair. ” I have to go now, may klase pa ako. And please don’t be late for our lunch later with the gang, okay? It’s Layla’s birthday.”
“Yeah sure. See you later.”
Nang makaalis na si Cassy, agad kong hinanap si Travis. I hovered almost the whole campus pero hindi ko siya nakita. I messaged him but I don’t get replies from him at hindi niya rin nase-seen ang messages ko.
” Bwesit! Pinagtataguan ba ako ng mokong na ‘yon?” I asked to myself. ” O baka hindi siya pumasok.”
After almost an hour of finding him, I gave up. Umupo ako saglit sa isang bench at naisip ko na baka binasa na niya ang letter at alam na niya ang totoo, and now maybe he don’t want to see me anymore.
I’m drowned with my thoughts again. Nanghina ako bigla. Parang gusto kong balikan ang pangyayari kahapon bago dumating si Travis para matago ko ng maayos ang diary ko. Well, nasa huli talaga ang pagsisisi.
I stood up when I got back to my senses and then I remembered na may lunch kami kasama ang buong barkada. Naisip ko na siguro pupunta si Travis doon kaya tumakbo ako ng mabilis para puntahan si Cassy.
As I reached the hallway near the library, mas binilisan ko pa ang pagtakbo at sa kasamaang palad nakabangga ako ng tao dahilan para matumba kaming dalawa. I bumped my head in the grass and I was surprised when the man was already on top of me and then kissed me accidentally.
After the accidental kiss, agad na tumayo ang lalaki at tinulungan ako para makatayo. To my surprise, it’s Travis.
“What the fuck dude?! Aren’t you supposed to slow down sa ganitong mga lugar?” he yelled, making my heart race in fear.
“Pa-pasensiya na. Nagmamadali kasi akong puntahan sina Cassy at Layla at para na rin hanapin ka,” agad kong sagot.
“What?!”
“I mean, birthday ngayon ni Layla and we’re invited for lunch,” I said as I wiped my lips. I can still smell his fresh breath and that kiss was just… delightsome.
“Doon din ang punta ko kaya you don’t have to hurry like this. Muntik na tuloy madumihan ‘tong damit ko.” He’s checking his outfit if there’s dirt while I was staring at him. How can he be so angry but still looks so angelic?
Oh damn! What am I thinking?!
I shook my head to erase those thoughts at agad ko ng tinanong si Travis regarding the letter.
“Hey, may kinuha ka ba sa diary ko?”
“Diary? Ano bang pinagsasabi mo?” his forehead wrinkled in confusion.
“Di ba pinakialaman mo ang diary ko kahapon? Kaya imposibleng wala kang kinuha doon,” I pretended to be dominant and did my best to sound straight.
“Seriously? What would I get from it? Pasensiya na dude pero wala akong interest sa mga ganyan. I understood that you like taking notes about your everyday life but I don’t really care.”
“Wala ka ba talagang kinuha? Like a letter or something?”
“Do I look like a goddamn thief?”
Napabuntong-hininga ako matapos ko siyang tanungin. Mukha naman siyang nagsasabi ng totoo kaya I decided not to ask him again and just decided to drag him out.
“Okay okay, sorry. Now let’s go. I’m fucking hungry.” Inakbayan ko siya at akma na sanang hihilain ko paalis pero nanatili siyang nakatayo at tinignan ako na parang may nagawa akong mali.
“What? Bakit parang naging bato ka?” I asked.
“Magnanakaw ba talaga ang turing mo sa akin? Ouch, ang sakit.” He placed his hand in his chest like something is aching from the inside and did a sad-puppy-look.
“Ang OA mo! Di bagay sa’yo. Masyadong maangas ang mukha mo para sa ganyan.” I punched him in the shoulder and ran as fast as I could until I reached his car.
“Gago ka! Mas maangas mukha mo!” hinabol niya ako at ginulo ang buhok ko.
Now that I found out that he didn’t stole the letter from my diary, I felt so light and relieved. Siguro na-misplaced ko lang ‘yon and I was just overthinking. Maybe I was just too scared that he’ll know my secrets in the wrong time.
But there’s one question that remains bothering me as we took our way to Layla’s house:
Why he didn’t wipe his lips when we accidentally kissed?
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